


Nightmare

by orphan_account



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8940151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Love you Simon.” Baz yawned.“I love you too Baz.”__________Unbearably fluffy and cliché. Enjoy





	

Simon awoke tangled in sheets and covered in sweat. He could taste salt in his mouth, though wether it was from sweat or tears, he did not know. His throat felt raw and he was panting hard, as if he had been running. The only comfort he drew from his conscious state was the realisation that he had been dreaming, and the cool hand resting on his heaving shoulder. 

“Simon? You’re ok, you were just dreaming. You’re safe, you’re in our dorm at Watford, nothing is going to hurt you. It’s ok, it’s ok…” Baz was standing next to his bed, murmuring comfortingly and sounding uncharacteristically tender. His hand was gripping Simons shoulder, firm but not too tight, an anchor to the real world. Simon blinked away tears and glanced up at Baz. His face was full of uncertainty and fear, and something else that Simon couldn’t place. Baz looked so different when he wasn’t sneering or glaring or smirking. He looked softer, more vulnerable and somehow even more beautiful.

 

Simon buried his face into Baz’s stomach and cried, not caring that he was embarrassing himself, not caring that somehow he was drawing comfort out of his sworn enemy. He was physically and emotionally drained, and oddly empty. His shoulders were shaking, and his breath came in harsh sobs. He was crying pitifully, but he was too empty to care that he was being pathetic. There was a slight creak from the bed as Baz sat down next to Simon, and carefully wrapped his arms around him.  
“Shhhh, it’s ok, you’re ok now. Nothing’s coming to get you, you’re safe, shhh…” Simon took deep, shaky breaths as he tried to regain some control. But he didn’t pull away from Baz’s embrace, strange as it was.

They stayed that way for a while, Simons face hidden in the soft curve of Baz’s neck, being cradled in his arms. Baz idly stroked Simon’s back, in calm, slow strokes that both calmed him down and gave him strange shivers. It didn’t once cross Simon’s mind to pull away; Baz was offering salvation, and beggars could not be choosers.  
And besides, Simon thought, it wasn’t so bad after all. Baz made him feel safe and calm, which was ridiculous considering all the times he had tried to kill him. Anyway, wasn't this what he had fantasised about for so long? Being close to Baz, being held by Baz...

He must be dreaming still.

“What happened? In the dream. Was it the humdrum?” Baz asked softly. Simon shook his head against Baz’s neck. “No. It was me. I mean, not the humdrum me, it was really me.” He took a shaky breath, and Baz pulled him a little closer.

“I was standing on a sea of… of bodies. I could see Agatha, Ebb, the Mage, Penny… I killed them. And then I turned around and you were there, and you said… something important, something I’ve been wanting to hear you say for a long time. But instead of saying it back I…” He shuddered, and fresh tears escaped. “I killed you. And I laughed and laughed whilst I did it, and then I was all alone, standing over the bodies of everyone I love.” Simon was crying again. Baz stroked his back and whispered meaningless comforts, holding him as he had always wished to do.

When he had awoke to Simon's anguished cries, Baz's first instinct was to ignore him. He knew that Simon would not welcome his comfort.  
But then, his cries had gotten louder, and he had called Baz's name. So softly, so tenderly, it nearly broke his heart. But still he did not wake, and he started thrashing and crying...  
Unsure of what to do, Baz had tried to wake him. He called his name, put a hand on his shoulder and shaken him. He was caught by surprise when Simon had jerked awake, his hand still gripping the boys shoulder. He had a snarky comment on the tip of his tongue, to cover up the emotion clearly written on his face, but instead of shouting at him, hitting him, glaring at him, Simon had buried his face into Baz's stomach and cried. And Baz wrapped him in his arms, holding him, scarcely daring to breathe in fear of shattering the moment and causing Simon to go back to hating him.

 

“What was the important thing I told you?” Baz whispered, curiosity getting the better of him. “It doesn’t matter. Stupid, unrealistic…” Simon mumbled into his shirt. “Come on, Snow. We’ve been cuddling for the past half hour- Don’t you think you can trust me, at least a little bit?” “You called me Simon before.” Baz heaved a sigh, and rolled his eyes.

“Simon. Will you please tell me?” He shook his head.  
“No Baz. Sorry. You’ll hate me, you’ll never want to see me again…”  
“Already there, Snow. You have nothing to lose.” Simon glared at the crack in the wall behind him so intently it was as if he was trying to set it on fire.  
“You don’t have to be such an ass all the time. Would it kill you to try to be friends?” The playful smile fell from Baz's lips.  
“You know I can’t do that Si- Snow. We’re on different sides of a war here.” Simon growled in frustration and pulled back to look at Baz’s face.  
“A war neither of us chose! A war neither of us even want! We were forced or born into it, but we still deserve our own choice. I’ll fight the humdrum, I’ll fight whatever monsters he sends after me, but I won’t fight you. I never wanted to fight you…” Simon’s voice broke, and he rested his forehead on Baz’s shoulder.  
“I never wanted to fight you, either.” Baz said quietly. Simon gave a wet chuckle.  
“Aren’t we a stubborn pair?” He said, smiling weakly.  
“Simon. Will you please tell me?” He asked softly. Simon swallowed and shook his head.  
“No. I- I can’t” Carefully, tenderly, Baz placed a hand on each side of Simon’s face, and stared right into his eyes. Simon swallowed again, and his adams apple bobbed ridiculously. “Simon? Please. What did I tell you in the dream?” Simons eyes were wide as he stared back into Baz’s. 

“You… You said that… You loved me.” He whispered, and looked away.  
“Simon…” Baz whispered, his heart thudding painfully.  
“I know you don’t feel that way, and that it was just my mind giving me what I most wanted and taking it away to torture me, and I’m sorry if this ruins everything and I know you’ll never want to talk to me again and oh god I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I know it’s wrong for me to be in love with you but I just can’t…”  
Simon trailed off in confusion. Baz was smiling, grinning even. Not smiling as if he were laughing at Simon. Like he was genuinely happy. He had never seen Baz smile like  
that before, and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  
“You love me?” He asked through an impossibly wide grin. He felt giddy and short of breath. Simon nodded dumbly, confused. Gently, Baz lifted his chin with his hand.  
“I love you too. So, so much.” Simon grinned, and let out a breath.  
“Does that mean I’m allowed to kiss you?” He asked, looking at Baz from underneath his lashes. Baz grinned, and leant forward to brush their lips together, gentle at first and then become deeper, hungrier.

Later that night, they fell asleep in each others arms, smiling sleepily with swollen lips and mussed up hair.  
“Love you Simon.” Baz yawned.  
“I love you too Baz.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm too tired to be writing quality fic. But I'm going to anyway. I apologise for this, thanks for reading.


End file.
